In the midst of burying my head in a stash of textbooks and lecture notes, which constitutes the revision for my final year exams (argh?!??), last night I got chatting to someone very close to me about writing, books and past interests. This naturally led me to search out the annals of the Internet and re-visit my ancient music blog, which subsequently flooded my entire being with a tsunami of nostalgia. An entire evening’s worth of revision on non-degenerate perturbation theory in quantum mechanics has now successfully gone amiss, but only because I have devoted a solid, worthwhile couple of hours to rediscovering this intricate little love of writing that I have held for a little while now. Or maybe a few years. To quote myself from some distant blog post,
“I want to write. I don’t know what I want to write about, but I just want to write. Yearning to surround yourself with galaxies and numbers in later life doesn’t mean you should discard your dream of being a writer. The two things can work.
….I will be a scientist. A mathematician. An astronomer… Call me crazy.”
5 years later today, as a young science student set out on a rocky pathway to graduate and hopefully start my journey to a PhD in pursuit of becoming a real scientist, it is clear now that the kind of writing I will be doing in time to come will be very different from the kind of writing I used to do back then. It’s super scary that the time between now and until I will (hopefully?!?) be writing my thesis is less than the time since the ikkle Kaja wrote those paragraphs above….
The reason I write today is because just I really miss it. Simple. All too often it feels like my life is a perpetually spinning reel of film played at double speed; too fast for me to catch those little flecks of life and wispy moments that matter and make life worthwhile. Which is why I vow to make more use of this blogspace and return to what I used to love so much.
I am beginning to realise that perhaps one of the reasons why I sometimes hold back from writing here on a sciency-type blog is because I am an amateur in a big, big, field of big, big people with big, big knowledge. And this is daunting. But what I am, perhaps more importantly, also beginning to realise is that just because I am only starting to take baby steps in the direction of somewhere between ADULT and STUDENT and SCIENTIST, I do not have to turn my back on KAJA.
(…and Kaja would normally crack a joke here along the lines of,”Those directions don’t form an orthogonal set anyway!”, which probably means that looking at eigenfunctions for too long today has succesfully turned my brain to mush – thus tuning this post into something borderline personal-journal-worthy!) .
So, uh… Expect some more of this. But for now, I have a set of exams to study my backside off for. And hopefully, I will be able to thank myself later down the line in three months’ time 🙂
Here’s something I found from Simon Clark, a climate vlogger with about a gazillion tips on how to be successful!